• Study the Enneagram at home everyday with our ONLINE COURSES
    'The 9 Personality Types' is a complete introduction to the Enneagram. This 12-hr audio course also includes a 100-page guidebook, containing 4 transformative workbooks
  • The Enneagram shows you the shining light of who you REALLY are
    "Your personality is not a condition of the mind but an expression of the Soul. It is the result of your Higher Self's desire for continued expansion and experience of life"
  • Learning about the Enneagram will benefit you for the rest of your life
    Participants on AWAKENING, the Enneagram Programme Foundation Course, report not just insights and improvements, but lasting results that expand and unfold over time.
  • The Enneagram shows us who we are on a fundamental level
    The Enneagram equips us with the tools to evoke profound change within ourselves and our lives, bringing us back into balance and allowing us free access to our positive gifts.
  • Study the Enneagram at home everyday with our ONLINE COURSES
    'The 9 Personality Types' is a complete introduction to the Enneagram. This 12-hr audio course also includes a 100-page guidebook, containing 4 transformative workbooks
  • Only the Enneagram unravels the deeper aspects of couple dynamics
    Build happier and healthier relationships and avoid conflict through self-understanding, and profound insight into each others values, expectations and unspoken needs.
  • Let go of your self-defeating patterns and experience real freedom for life
    The Enneagram sets you free from the habitual patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that cause you pain and stop you from experiencing a life filled with freedom and joy.
  • Learn more about the Enneagram and how it can transform your life
    The Enneagram describes the nine ways of being in the world, giving deep insight into nine essentially different personality types, each with their own way of seeing the world.
  • During 3 amazing days you will unlock the brilliance of your personality
    AWAKENING was specifically designed to bring about significant and lasting personal change. Gain profound self-acceptance & foundations for a new way of being you.
  • Study the Enneagram at home everyday with our ONLINE COURSES
    'The 9 Personality Types' is a complete introduction to the Enneagram. This 12-hr audio course also includes a 100-page guidebook, containing 4 transformative workbooks
  • The Enneagram underpins all life and is as old as the Universe
    Ancient civilisations taught the Enneagram to young people in order that they could experience positive feelings about themselves and have healthy, harmonious relationships.
  • Discover the thread with which you have woven the tapestry of your life
    "The purpose of this work is to understand the nature of your life picture and to unravel the parts you wish were different so that you may reweave them into a more beautiful picture"
  • Transform your working environments and professional relationships
    "The Enneagram is the single most profound, insightful and practical way of enabling each person within your organisation to become truly effective and successful"
  • Enhancing Individual and Team Performance with the Enneagram
    When the unparalleled insights provided by the Enneagram are utilized within the workplace, communication and teamwork become exponentially more effective.

What is the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is the map of consciousness that underpins all aspects of your life. It illuminates the nine ways of being in the world...

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What is it for?

The Enneagram equips us with the tools to bring about profound change within ourselves and our lives, bringing us into balance and giving us...

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Is this for me?

Through the Enneagram we discover and understand our true selves, and see our negative patterns clearly without self-criticism or ego...

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Veronica's Blog

A Relationship Saved

by Veronica Croft

Relationships 2

One part of my work that I find very satisfying is helping couples to unravel and resolve their differences, and what makes it possible for me to help couples in this way – even though I am not a trained counsellor - is my knowledge of each of the nine personality types.

In an occasional series of brief articles I would like to share with you some of the relationship problems the Enneagram has helped me unravel.

This time we look at a Six - Two relationship.

                    Paul and Louise were experiencing repeating patterns of conflict at the time of their consultation with me. Louise is a Two - a type that is verbally expressive and demonstrative with their love; she regularly tells Paul that she loves him. Paul is a Six, a less demonstrative type that tends to show their love in less obvious ways – often by doing practical things for their partner that makes life steady and secure. Paul works long hours and often gets home late with the result that Louise was feeling neglected. He was often too tired to eat the meal that Louise had spent a lot of time lovingly preparing and all of this was making her feel unappreciated and unloved. She was becoming critical and emotional which was causing Paul to suspect that she no longer loved him. Feeling that he might be rejected he reacted by withdrawing and being unresponsive ... which was making Louise feel even less loved.

Oh what a tangled web we weave!! This sort of everyday scenario is typical of the confusion and misunderstanding that happens in even the best relationships.

                  Knowing that he was a Six and she was a Two made it pretty easy to unravel these problems. The crux of the matter was that Paul, in working hard to make life secure, was actually offering to Louise what he most needed (security) instead of what she needed. This was his practical way of showing her how much he loved her. Louise actually wanted what she was offering Paul – demonstrative and expressive outpourings of love – and, as is common with Twos, had completely failed to realise that other types have their own ways of demonstrating love, that they are not all Twos!

                   I explained to them that this is one of the most common problematic patterns I see within relationships. Each of the nine types has different deep (usually unconscious) core needs and we expect the other party to fulfill those needs. Seems reasonable; after all they love us don't they? Surely they will want to fulfill our needs? Well, yes. But problems occur within most relationships because, not only are we not really aware of our own deep needs (until we find the Enneagram, of-course) so we can't tell the other party what they are, but, even worse, most of us unconsciously give to our loved ones exactly what we would want from them instead of what they really need.

As I further explained how the unconscious core needs of the Six and the Two are actually  different, and about how those needs affect the way each feels and behaves in relationships, they both realised their love for each other was just as strong as ever. Paul realised that he needed to tell Louise more often that he loved her and she began to appreciate all the things Paul did that made her life steady and secure and to accept that there are many ways in which love can be demonstrated.

With the Enneagram our apparently complex relationships are rendered simple. They really do make sense!

 

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Veronica Croft B.Sc Dip.Ed


Veronica is an Enneagram consultant, teacher and published author. She is a natural communicator, a ‘people person’, whose passion is to empower others to rise above what holds them back.

For more than 25 years she has been working with people to help them understand their own patterns of thought, reaction and behaviour so that they may bring peace and harmony into their relationships and to live their lives as an expression of their true potential.

She works with her son Chris teaching her pioneering course The Enneagram Programme which has changed the lives of thousands of people from all walks of life.

Veronica has 30 years experience in public speaking and gives introductory talks about the Enneagram at many events and meetings around the country.


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